Building Trust Through Play: Why Play is More Than Just Fun
Have you ever caught yourself thinking “My child doesn’t need me to play…they are fine on their own”. Or maybe you find yourself sitting on the floor thinking, “I’m so bored of this game—can we just move on?” If so, you’re definitely not alone.
Play isn’t just fun and games—it’s your child’s way of learning about the world, their feelings, and their relationships. Think of play as their first language. When your little one builds a tower out of blocks or has an elaborate tea party with their stuffed animals, their brain is hard at work.
Did you know that play actually lights up the parts of your child’s brain that help with problem-solving, social skills, and emotional regulation? That messy Lego collapse? It’s not just chaos—it’s teaching persistence, flexibility, and mastery. And yes, it might also be preparing them for handling future crises or unexpected outcomes.
Now, let’s be honest: not every game is your favorite. Sometimes your child’s chosen game (dancing to the Wheels On The Bus on repeat for an hour anyone?) might make you want to do taxes. What can you do then? Here are some easy ideas:
Set a timer. “I can play puppies for 10 minutes, then I’ll need a break.” It’s okay to have limits.
Offer a side role. “You be the puppy, and I’ll be the vet sitting over here.” You’re still part of the fun but on your terms.
Watch and cheer from the sidelines—with coffee in hand! Let them know why you don’t feel you can participate in simple words but that you would LOVE to be there and watch what happens! Don’t be afraid to say what you see, what you may be thinking, anything new you might notice in your child's play, or just clap and cheer loudly!
Suggest a different activity you enjoy together after you child completes the activity they chose or after collaborating and finding a new idea together. Team work can be just as fun for your child!
If you’re thinking, “I’m just not the playful type,” that’s perfectly okay. You don’t have to be the ‘fun’ parent all the time. What matters most is showing up. Your presence, even quietly observing, builds trust and connection.
Wondering how to make play easier? Try rolling a ball back and forth (bonus: you get to sit!), playing peekaboo (three seconds of silence while they count!), or building a block tower to knock down together (oddly satisfying and always a crowd-pleaser). If your kiddo is older, pretend play, coloring or drawing, puzzles, water play, or sorting games.
What if your child prefers to play alone or seems bored with your attempts? Remember, it’s okay to take breaks and try again later. Your child might just need some space to explore independently, which is a healthy part of growing up.
At the end of the day, play isn’t about perfection or fun for you—it’s about connection for them. So, whether you’re a game enthusiast or a reluctant participant, your willingness to be there is what truly matters.
Some helpful questions to explore or reflect on independently, with your significant other, or a group of friends are: what’s your favorite “easy win” game to connect with your child? What is one you secretly dread? Is there a game you always wanted to play with you parents as a child but never got to? Or were afraid of playing?
There are no right or good answers…just awareness to help open up the door to further connect with your child.
