Too Much Touch? Finding Your Personal Space in Parenting
If you’ve ever felt like your personal bubble was popped a hundred times before your morning coffee, you’re not alone.
Parenting young children means being wanted—all the time. They need your hands to hold, your lap to climb on, your attention, your hugs… often simultaneously. It’s wonderful, but also exhausting. Sometimes you just want a moment to breathe without being touched or asked for something, right?
Feeling overwhelmed or “all touched out” doesn’t mean you love your child any less—it means you’re human. Our nervous systems can only handle so much input before they signal for a break. The tricky part? Your child still needs you, even when your energy is spent.
Here’s how you can gently reclaim some space without disconnecting:
Name your need: Saying “I need a little quiet time” models healthy boundaries and self-care. Your child learns it’s okay to ask for space too and is building the foundation for learning how to verbalize it.
Create cozy separations: A shared or separate identical blanket fort with separate spots or a stuffed animal “buddy” can help you both feel close but still apart.
Parallel play: Sit near each other doing different activities—your child plays with blocks while you read or draw nearby. For older kiddos, don’t be afraid to create some rules around this play time like “I need some alone time but know you want me with you too. How about I set a timer and we can play next to eachother with our favorite song. Here is your area, and here is mine - we will stay in our special spaces until the timer goes off”.
Sound boundaries: Noise-canceling headphones aren’t just for airplanes! Use them when you need a little calm while your child plays safely nearby.
Mini escapes: A walk around the block, five minutes in a “mom/dad cave” (even a closet or bathroom), or sitting in the car with a warm drink can reset your system.
Back-to-back breathing: Sit back-to-back with your child, eyes closed, breathing slowly together. It’s connection and space all in one. If this is too much then you can get a rope, string, or blanket - anything that can be held but provide physical distance - and have your child hold one end while you hold the other while you each do an activity of your choosing.
You are allowed to take up space in your own life. You are allowed to feel overstimulated. And needing a break doesn’t make you less loving—it makes you honest. You’re showing your child that relationships include space and connection. That’s a gift. Remember, space doesn’t have to mean distance or disconnection. It’s about balance—showing your child that you love them and take care of yourself too. When you model this, you’re teaching lifelong lessons about respect and emotional health.
So next time you’re feeling maxed out, try one of these gentle strategies. And if all else fails? Remember, even superheroes need a breather now and then.
