What Big Emotions In Little Bodies Are Trying to Say

Big feelings in little bodies can feel overwhelming for everyone involved. Whether your toddler is flopping on the floor like a fish out of water or your preschooler is throwing blocks in protest, these moments are less about misbehavior—and more about communication.

Children between 0–5 are still learning how to be in their bodies, name their emotions, and understand their needs. The emotional part of their brain (the amygdala) is online and working overtime, while the part responsible for self-regulation (the prefrontal cortex) is still under construction. That means big reactions are normal, expected, and developmentally appropriate—even if they push every one of your buttons.

Hitting, screaming, throwing, hiding—these are not calculated acts of rebellion. They’re signs your child is dysregulated. And underneath those behaviors? A plea: Help me, hold me, see me.

Your child’s behavior is a form of communication. They might be saying, "I’m scared," or "This is too much for me," or even "I don’t know how to ask for help." When we can approach these moments with curiosity instead of control, we open the door for deeper understanding and connection.

So how do we respond? Here are some supportive ways to meet your child’s big emotions:

• Regulate yourself first: Yep, that again. Kids can’t borrow calm from someone who doesn’t have it.

• Name the feeling: “You’re feeling really mad right now because it’s time to leave the park.” Naming helps build emotional vocabulary.

• Validate the experience: You don’t have to agree with the behavior to acknowledge the feeling.

• Set boundaries with compassion: “It’s okay to feel angry. It’s not okay to hit.”

• Offer comfort when ready: Not all kids want a hug right away—but staying nearby says, “I’m here when you’re ready.”

And don’t forget to check in with yourself. These moments can be exhausting, triggering, and deeply humbling. Take breaks when you can. Ask for support. Laugh when it feels right. Cry when you need to. You’re doing important, emotional work.

At the end of the day, your child doesn’t need you to fix every meltdown. They need to know that their big emotions don’t scare you, and that you’re someone they can count on to help them through.

Even when the Legos are flying.